First "Cook Night" Results

Here's what our first scheduled "Cook Night" was like from both mom's and 13 year-old son's perspective.

Mom's version:

It's a good thing we set a date for our first "Cook Night"- the night chosen for David to learn how to prepare a favorite meal of his choice.   Without a concrete plan, it is less likely to happen.  Life is full, and it's just easier not to teach the kids to cook. 

I started thinking/talking about the event several days in advance.  First of all, I wanted to make sure we had the necessary ingredients.  Secondly, I wanted to prep David so his expectations were in line with the plan for him to cook.  Sure enough, when the day arrived, he balked, asking why we need to do this.  "So that you know how to cook when you go off to college" was my reply.  "We have lots of years left" he murmured, complaining that he would rather be hanging out with his friends.  I told him he needed to be ready at 5 pm to begin cooking, and we would eat at 6.  It would have been easier to give in to his whims, but I persevered.

We began promptly at 5 pm to prepare David's selection of Colorado Calzone.  Each calzone serves 4-6 people.  The plan was for me to make one calzone for our neighbor friends who are in the midst of packing up for a move, and David would make one for our family.  I demonstrated the process with my calzone, and then intentionally let David independently complete every step from beginning to end with his calzone.

It's really quite an easy process thanks to the use of some prepared foods.  We rolled out the loaf of thawed bread dough, placed the toppings of choice (we used cooked Isernio's Italian chicken sausage and grated cheese) on the dough, rolled it up, pinched it closed, brushed egg white over the top, and baked for 30 minutes.

The kitchen became a little (well, a lot) chaotic with incoming phone calls (exciting news- Kristen found a wedding dress!) and a last minute idea to make our Connell signature chocolate chip cookies.  The cookies flopped, which was my fault.  In haste I mindlessly used too little flour.  We took the opportunity to transform the pancake-flat cookies into home-made ice cream cookie sandwiches.  David and Dad assembled those while I made the salad and steamed broccoli.  I would have liked David to cook the veggies, but there's always next time.

After delivering the neighbor's meal, the four of us sat down to a scrumptious meal of calzone, steamed broccoli, and tossed mixed greens, cherry tomatoes, goat cheese, with a sprinkle of olive oil & raspberry balsamic vinegar. 

We all complimented David on how delicious the calzone tasted. (Except for Jennifer- she had braces put on that afternoon and was feeling too much pain to bite into food).  When I asked David how it was making calzone all by himself, he confidently responded with a proud smile, "It was a piece of cake!".  He was especially happy that he didn't have to do his dinner clean-up chore that night.  That was my suggestion - that whoever cooks on Monday Cook Night is relieved from doing their nightly chore.  Now that's a win-win!

[Special thanks to Dad for cleaning up the kitchen!]

David's version:

I got a steal on doing my chore- I didn't have to do my chore. ha ha.  Making calzones wasn't that bad because it's not actually that hard.  It was easier than I thought it would be. 

Here's how I did it.  First you take the Italian sausage, put it in the pan, and cook it.  Then you take the pepper, dried basil, and salt and mix it into the meat.  You take a rolling pin and roll out the dough.  When the meat is done, you lay it in a line on the dough, and put the cheese on the meat.  To fold it up you take the short ends and fold those in. Then take the long ends, fold them over and pinch it together. Then really fast you pick it up and put it on the pan.  You bake it in the oven for 30 minutes, look to see if it's done, yep it's done.  You slice it up and eat it.

It tasted great. It was easy, and yummy. I felt happy that I didn't have to do my chore.  I would do it again if I had nothing going on, and I didn't have to do my chore.

 

Cook Night

In our home, 99.9% of our dinners are cooked by me.  At first glance this may feel like a noble service.  But when I reflect on author Michael Pollan's words of wisdom (that the most important thing you can do if you're concerned about your kids' health is teach them how to cook),I realize it may in fact be a disservice.

 

I know that others in the family can cook because they manage dinners on their own when I am occasionally out of town.  I use the term "cook" loosely, since it's mostly pre-made items that merely require heating up according to the directions on the package.

Cooking means different things to different people.  Michael Pollan refers to eating these packaged foods as "secondary eating".  He believes that this industrial "food processing" has taken a substantial toll on our health and well-being since they tend to use much more sugar, fat and salt than do people cooking for people. "Primary eating" involves cooking a meal from scratch. 

Facing the facts about the nutritional benefits of home cooking helps me place a higher value on "primary cooking".   I can bring myself to a point where intellectually, I get it.  It's way better for us to home cook our meals from scratch more often than consume packaged food prepared by corporations.  But does my attitude and my shopping/cooking behavior reflect the high value I place on cooking?

Attitude check -  do I view cooking dinner as drudgery or as an opportunity?  I can't deny that there are times when it feels like drudgery.  My heart's desire is to approach cooking with a spirit of adventure, with mindfulness, with fascination with the cooking process, and with enjoyment of the experience of cooking and eating.

I ran across a superb article, "Find Your Young Lady".  Referring to the famliar "Old Woman/Young Lady" illusion (see picture), the author uses the phrase "find your young lady" to teach athletes how to reframe their thoughts to improve their running experiences.  The principles can be readily applied to any behavior, including cooking. The power to embrace cooking as a joy and opportunity comes in changing our thoughts from self-defeating to self-empowering.

Although my having the "right mindset" is necessary for me to inspire others to cook, it is not sufficient.  Nor will aiming to simply capitalize on the teachable moments.  Instead, I need a concrete plan.  If we leave it to chance, it may not happen. 

Drum roll......"Cook Night"

My experience tells me there are two core factors that internally motivate kids to cook:
1. their stomach (sheer desire to eat something yummy)
2. fun, especially with friend

I started by asking the kids who still live at home, "Name your 3 favorite home-cooked meals."   David chose:  Sesame Grilled Chicken with Ramen Salad,  Flat Iron Steaks with mushrooms and green beans, and Calzones.  Jennifer picked:  BBQ ribs, Hamburgers, and Tacos.

Next I told them, "You get to learn how to make these favorite meals of yours this summer on Cook Night!"

"You may invite a friend to help cook if you wish."

We chose Monday for Cook Night since at present there are no extracurricular activities disrupting our dinner hour on Mondays. Here is our actionable plan to begin teaching our children the life-long skill of cooking:

Goal:  Throughout the 10 weeks of summer vacation, the kids get to learn how to cook their three favorite meals.

"SMART" plan (specific, measurable, actionable, realistic, time-based): Each Monday beginning June 24 through August 26, Jennifer (age 10) and David (age 13) will alternate being chef on Cook Night.  Each will have an opportunity to learn how to make their three favorite meals with my assistance.  Since the Cook Night plan will use up only 6 of the 10 summer Mondays, we have wiggle room built into the plan.

 

Perhaps in August we will celebrate with a fun, culminating "graduation" home-cooked dinner.

 

The above plan is tailored to our family.  It's important to become the expert of your own self and family.  Think about your attitude/knowledge/skills/behavior with cooking.  Where are the gaps?  This process of exploring will help gain insight to establish a realistic plan to put into action.  My hope is for all of us to discover and pass on the joy of cooking, comfort and fun in the kitchen, and good health for a lifetime!

 

 

Who's Cooking Dinner?

I'm reading Michael Pollan's latest book, Cooked.  It is lighting a fire within me for this month's topic, "Who's Cooking Dinner?"

In his book, Pollen sets out to learn how to cook.  He becomes the student as experts show him the finer points of mastering some timeless culinary skills.  He makes several discoveries, including just how pleasurable it can be to cook.  Reflecting on the 8,000+ dinners I have cooked over the years, I can relate to his description of himself,

"I have always cooked, but I've always approached it with a great deal of impatience, and always kind of fought against it."

 

However, now he approaches cooking with a very different spirit.  He slows down, enjoys it more, and squeezes more out of the experience.

Cooked is an argument for making the choice to cook (versus relying on the food industry to do the cooking for us.).  The argument for cooking can be made on many levels.  On one level are health reasons.

"There is something inherent in the process of cooking that will drive you toward using better ingredients -  not using too much salt, fat and sugar."

"I'm convinced that the most important thing you can do if you're concerned about your kids' health is teach them how to cook.  It's a life-long skill that will do more to assure their long-term health and happiness than just about anything else you can give them."

Best of all, Pollan offers hope in reclaiming cooking as a pleasure, rather than a common perception that cooking is drudgery, and perhaps even daunting.

To be honest, on some days as dinner time approaches, I simply do not want to stop what I'm doing to make dinner.  After a day of work, I might rather be reading, playing a game of croquet or badminton with the kids in the backyard, catching up with family or friends, gardening, or writing.  These activities feel good and replenish my sense of well-being.  Forcing myself to switch gears to the kitchen and enter dinner preparation mode brings to mind the familiar bumper sticker, "I'd rather be....[fill in the blank with anything but cooking]."

How would life be different if I, too (like Michael Pollan), discovered that cooking is one of the most worthwhile and interesting ways to spend my time?

I wonder... exactly what is needed to reclaim cooking as a pleasure, and to teach our children the life-long skill of cooking?

 

I believe it begins with me, in my own "backyard", so to speak.  Things like challenging myself to venture outside of my comfort zone to learn and practice new cooking skills.  Things like practicing mindfulness skills (being more in the present moment as I cook).  Maybe even a little attitude adjustment.  Throw in some fun!  With these fix-ups, I am likely to be a more effective teacher for my children.  After all, more is caught than taught, especially when it comes to the joy of cooking.  Can I rise to the challenge?

 

Can the children rise to the challenge?

 "...if I treat you as though you are what you are capable of becoming, I help you become that." (Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe).  I believe the answer is "yes".

I have people in my life who inspire me (merely through their living example) to approach cooking with confidence and a spirit of adventure.  As Pollan learned, cooking is not that hard.  Maybe cooking has more to do with one's mindset.

Maybe it really boils down to -  how much do I value cooking?  Now there's something worth chewing on.

In the mean time, summer is around the corner.  What better time is there than now, to engage the family in cooking dinner?  I will put on my thinking cap to devise a plan for my approach to reclaim cooking as pleasure, and to teach my children the life-long skill of cooking.  Stay tuned for an actionable plan.