The "Reset" Button

Everywhere you turn, there's information on how to be healthier in 2014.  January is like that. 

There's lots of hype & vigilance at the start, but by the time the end of January rolls around, the majority of folks "give up" on their resolutions.  We start.  We stop.  And often think, "Screw it, I'll never get this." 

What if... instead of "start" and "stop", we tried the "reset" button.  That is, view the slip-up as a wake-up call, identifying what went wrong and then adapting accordingly.  This requires self-compassion (being kind to ourselves).  We don't need to beat ourselves up over an error.  It's simply a slip-up, and we can make the mistake work for us rather than defeat us.

As my year-long Eating Well Project comes to a close, I'm glancing through the rear view mirror at how I did with making the changes I set out to make: 

-- Do we have more whole foods and less junk food in our home? 

            This is sort of like a dance- striving for a balance between leading the way towards a steady diet of whole foods, yet following in step with the occasional desire for a sprinkling of less healthy items. There's no doubt we've come a long way from the processed foods that I succumbed to buying in the earlier child-rearing years.

           

-- Are we eating more fruits & vegetables?

            We hit an all-time high of eating F&V when we were individually tracking our intake against a goal.  We've discovered that roasting veggies is one of the easiest & tastiest ways to prepare them.  As for veggies in the lunches, David actually filled a snack baggy of raw red bell pepper slices, mini carrots, and green beans to include in his lunch on his own initiative.  Alleluia- my perseverance with including a variety of veggies in the packed lunches is paying off.  After coming home from a sleepover void of healthy food the other day, Jen actually went to the fridge and made herself a salad.  They're learning how to get & keep themselves on center with eating F&V.

-- Do we kick-start the day with a nourishing breakfast?

            Generally yes.   It helped to hyper-focus on it by using the Breakfast Maker tool (see April blog).

-- Is there more variety in our lunches?

            The saving grace is making enough at dinner to provide leftovers for lunch.

-- Are the kids developing some cooking skills?

            Scheduling monthly Monday kid cook nights during the summer gave them the skills & confidence to cook a few meals.  I posed the question to David today, "If mom & dad were gone for a week, would you be able to cook dinners for yourself?"  He listed the meals he could make- spaghetti, taco's, Colorado Calzone, BLT sandwiches, hoagie melts, egg burrito's, and bratwursts.  Not bad for a 14 year old.

-- Am I more easily able to "wing it" using wholesome ingredients with dinner prep rather than be a slave to a recipe?

            I've definitely made progress here.  A busy Nov & Dec with a lot of travel, Kristen's flight graduation & wedding- made it necessary for me to take a more flexible approach to creating dinners with ingredients on hand rather than a planned menu using recipes.

Although far from perfect (however you define that) in all areas,  we are better off today than when I began the Eating Well Project last February.  The "reset" button has been pressed many a time.  It's something that is necessary to do over & over again as we refine our habits and lifestyle in order to be, do, and feel our best.  To use a sailing analogy, we're continually adjusting the sails to the changes in the wind in order to move forward on our journey.

Small, do-able steps taken one day at a time, lends for lasting behavior.

"Every Family Makes Different Choices"

Referring to her packed lunches, Jen recently confided, "It's hard for me to eat my fruits and veggies."  I needed some clarification-  not enough time? braces make it difficult?  "No, it's hard to see everyone around me eating chips and fun stuff". 

Stab...the proverbial knife penetrated my heart as I deeply felt her "deprivation".  We've all been there for one reason or another, right?  We want our children to be happy.

My confidence in what I feed my children momentarily faltered.  I received reassurance, however, from J.M. Hirsch, author of the new book Eating the Lunch Box Blues.  He suggests as one of his five "Lunch Logic" tips:

Take the high road.  Don't get sucked into the "But Hulga Mae gets to bring cotton candy and Big Macs for lunch!" fights.  Just say, "Every family makes different choices."  It may not lesson the whining, but it's the truth.

He also suggests:

Skip the kid food.  It doesn't exist.  Or rather, it shouldn't.  "Kid food" is nothing more than a marketing ploy.  Give kids real food with real flavor.  They'll eat it, especially if you do, too.

On his website, he does acknowledge the challenges we face in teaching our children about real food, especially in a culture saturated by corporate messaging that points us in the exact opposite direction.  It's easy to cave to the advertising of bright, exciting, processed junk food.

However, it's our job as parents to counter that message.  For it we fall for it, guess who else will?

Hirsch shares a helper that can make our job a little easier.  It's a very convincing children's story book called, "Mr. Zee's Apple Factory Story (A Tale About Processed Food)".  The 12 minute read-aloud delivers an eye-opening message for all ages about how we lose sight of what constitutes real food in our processed food society.

Processed food has become the norm.  It's easy to blame people and forces outside of ourselves for the prevalence of processed food.  But playing the blame game simply puts us in the victim role.  The truth is, what we choose is completely up to us.

Is there one different choice I can make that will bring me (and my family) a step closer to eating real food? 

Dissolving the lunch problem

The care-free, unscheduled days of summer are but a memory.  School-goers are juggling new schedules, trying to discover and settle into a routine.  For us, part of that discovery involves figuring out lunches.  That is, finding lunch ideas that are prepared with minimal time/effort expended, are enjoyable, and of course, healthy.

We have completed the first week and a half of the school year.  With so many details to pay attention to, any attempts at creativity with lunch ideas sank to the bottom of the priority list.  Basic sandwiches were all we had bandwidth for on most days.

Still, I was caught by surprise when the "sandwich burn-out" groan already reared it's ugly head.  It's not like we overdosed on sandwiches over the summer.  I can possibly count on one hand the number of times we ate sandwiches for lunch.  It was usually out of convenience while hiking.

One day last week we were fortunate to have some delicious tender steak leftover from dinner, which I sliced thinly and rolled up along with some grated cheese into a tortilla.  The kids loved it- not only because it tasted delicious but it was a change of pace from a sandwich!  I loved it because it was quick and easy.

Resources containing great lunch ideas abound in both print and the internet, but I find that many of the ideas require quite a production to put together.  I want something more streamlined.

The best tip yet that I can whole-heartedly embrace for making lunches enjoyable and healthy in minimal time is by J.M. Hirsch, author of the brand new book Eating the Lunch Box Blues.  One of his many tips:

Cook too much dinner. Leftovers make packing lunch so much easier - it just makes sense to build them into your dinner plans. Boiling extra pasta or roasting a larger chicken doesn't require additional effort.

The lens I look through now when planning our dinners is, "Will this dinner meal make convenient leftovers for lunches?"  Most important is to be sure to make enough so that there are leftovers.  "Cook too much dinner!"

The key is to piggyback our dinner with our lunch so that a tasty, healthy lunch is at our fingertips with no extra effort. And if last night's dinner wasn't their favorite, well there's always a sandwich.

Spread my culinary wings

Cooking dinner on our camping trip "forced" me to spread my culinary wings.  Moments before departing on the trip, our Plan A to grill burgers the first night became Plan B to make Sloppy Joes. This switch enabled us to pre-cook the meat at home rather than take a gamble on raw meat in the cooler.  In our haste to get out the door, Jimmy (our helpful camping guru who was home on a short college break) tossed into a bag some ingredients for Sloppy Joes using a recipe he downloaded.

We arrived, set up camp, and "chillaxed" as the kids say.  Ahhhh, I had not a care in the world as we were surrounded by gorgeous forest and majestic Mt. Rainier.  

Time for dinner.  I pulled out the bag of Sloppy Joe ingredients.  Not having been involved in the packing of it, I was pleasantly surprised to find the ketchup, yellow mustard, brown sugar, garlic powder, salt, and pepper to add to the precooked meat.  David brought up the recipe from the iphone.  However, there were no measuring cups or spoons. This posed a slight dilemma for me.  I rely heavily on precise measuring and usually feel uncomfortable just winging it.  It felt a little like someone had removed my training wheels before I was ready.

With no measuring cups or spoons, I had no choice but to loosen my grip on the precise measuring of ingredients.  I had to wing it.  A little uncomfortable at first, it actually began to feel quite liberating, almost exciting.  A sense of mastery.  Freedom in the forest.

The Sloppy Joes were absolutely delicious despite my crude "measuring" (actually non-measuring) of ingredients.  I gained some big ah-ha's that day.  I can cook without measuring.  There is flexibility in the amounts of ingredients called for in recipes.  I can actually influence the desired flavor outcome by playing around with the types and amounts of ingredients.  What fun!

I had a similar experience the next night with "2-Ingredient Pizza Dough" recipe that Jimmy had found.  We eye-balled one part plain Greek yogurt to one part self-rising flour.  We simply added more flour to get the desired consistency for kneading and spreading the pizza dough out onto a pan.  Again, it was very tasty.

Using the bike analogy, I'm curious to try going "no-handed' and let go of using a recipe altogether... to nurture intuitive cooking.  For some this comes more naturally.  For others who find a "death-grip" more comfortable, this will take practice and time, a real concerted effort.  I may zero in on this topic for next year's blog -  "how to cook without a recipe".   

Liberate myself and put the cookbook away

Cat Mush

I dutifully followed a recipe for lemon cilantro chicken.  Let's just say it was a tad bit lemon-y, and unfortunately, there was a lot left over.  The frugal part of me couldn't throw it away.  But something needed to tame it's flavor.  What to do?

 

Ah ha!  I'd turn it into a Mexican chicken croc pot something.  I was very proud of myself for creatively adding ingredients that I had on-hand...the remaining carton of roasted red pepper soup in the frig, a can of black beans, some frozen sweet corn.  Mission accomplished.  Quite tasty.  Not too lemon-y anymore.  

Dinner time.  Somewhere between the kitchen island (where we each serve up our plate) and mid-way through dinner,  my creation was innocently named by our youngest child as "Cat Mush".   Hmmm.  I never thought of it that way.  I guess it did kind of resemble our kitty's canned food.  But it tasted good.

Unfortunately, the addition of ingredients to the croc pot to doctor up the lemon chicken resulted in a lot left over.  I knew I couldn't serve "Cat Mush" again to my family.  Recycle it into something "new"?

As dinnertime approached the next day, I secretly and very quickly laid out some tortillas, plopped some "cat mush" onto each one, rolled them up, placed them in a casserole dish, smothered them with a can of enchilada sauce and grated cheddar cheese, and popped them in the oven.  Voila.  Steaming hot enchiladas were brought out of the oven and placed on the island for serving.  Mum was the word on the secret ingredient.

Whew, so far so good.... until the child who named it "Cat Mush" looked suspiciously at me from across the table.  With an interrogating voice she exclaimed to what seemed like the world, "Is there cat mush in here?" 

  

Busted!

  

Lessons learned from experimenting with cooking without a recipe:

Lesson 1:  Always name my creation first (a desirable name- how about "Mexican Pulled Chicken Stew") - before someone else beats me to it with a less than desirable name like "Cat Mush". 

Lesson 2:  Don't get so caught up in the glory of my creation that I forget to pay attention to the appearance of it from a 3rd party's perspective.

Lesson 3:  Use my cooking sense to adapt a recipe in the first place (I thought the recipe called for too much lemon juice but I dutifully followed it anyway).

Lesson 4:  I'm ready to start delving deeper into how to cook without a cookbook. 

 

 

"Cook Night" 2 and 3 results

We began Jennifer's cook night with good intentions.  Early in the afternoon, Jen and her helper friends did a beautiful job cutting the rack of ribs and "painting" on the BBQ sauce.  However, when our out-of-town family arrived near the dinner hour, I became caught up in the conversation and merriment.  I didn't provide quite as much instruction and foster as much cooking independence in Jennifer as I would have liked. 





Take two: This week on Jennifer's cook night, we invited her friend, Liz, to stay for taco dinner.  Since Liz has Celiac disease and needs to avoid all trace of gluten, we made an adjustment from packaged Taco seasoning to a blend of our own spices.  Experimenting with spices isn't my forte (yet!), so we used an on-line "recipe" for taco seasoning.  I was surprised at how quick & easy it was.

We moved quickly through the dinner prep since the girls were quite ravenous after an afternoon of  playing and swimming.  Nothing like hunger to motivate the cooks!

 

Dinner prep was pretty simple. The girls cooked the meat, measured out and added spices.  They also grated the cheese, cut up some lettuce, heated the taco shells, and sliced the cantaloupe.  It was ready in 30 minutes flat.  Delicious!

I'm discovering how easy it can be to completely blow-off the idea of teaching the kids how to cook.  For me, it's sort of like wanting to keep a clutter-free house.  I love the idea but struggle to achieve it.

With a concrete plan on the calendar to have each child cook dinner on Monday nights throughout the summer, I'm much more likely to follow through on the idea rather than toss it out the window to flitter away in the summer breeze.  I know it will be worth it in the long run.

First "Cook Night" Results

Here's what our first scheduled "Cook Night" was like from both mom's and 13 year-old son's perspective.

Mom's version:

It's a good thing we set a date for our first "Cook Night"- the night chosen for David to learn how to prepare a favorite meal of his choice.   Without a concrete plan, it is less likely to happen.  Life is full, and it's just easier not to teach the kids to cook. 

I started thinking/talking about the event several days in advance.  First of all, I wanted to make sure we had the necessary ingredients.  Secondly, I wanted to prep David so his expectations were in line with the plan for him to cook.  Sure enough, when the day arrived, he balked, asking why we need to do this.  "So that you know how to cook when you go off to college" was my reply.  "We have lots of years left" he murmured, complaining that he would rather be hanging out with his friends.  I told him he needed to be ready at 5 pm to begin cooking, and we would eat at 6.  It would have been easier to give in to his whims, but I persevered.

We began promptly at 5 pm to prepare David's selection of Colorado Calzone.  Each calzone serves 4-6 people.  The plan was for me to make one calzone for our neighbor friends who are in the midst of packing up for a move, and David would make one for our family.  I demonstrated the process with my calzone, and then intentionally let David independently complete every step from beginning to end with his calzone.

It's really quite an easy process thanks to the use of some prepared foods.  We rolled out the loaf of thawed bread dough, placed the toppings of choice (we used cooked Isernio's Italian chicken sausage and grated cheese) on the dough, rolled it up, pinched it closed, brushed egg white over the top, and baked for 30 minutes.

The kitchen became a little (well, a lot) chaotic with incoming phone calls (exciting news- Kristen found a wedding dress!) and a last minute idea to make our Connell signature chocolate chip cookies.  The cookies flopped, which was my fault.  In haste I mindlessly used too little flour.  We took the opportunity to transform the pancake-flat cookies into home-made ice cream cookie sandwiches.  David and Dad assembled those while I made the salad and steamed broccoli.  I would have liked David to cook the veggies, but there's always next time.

After delivering the neighbor's meal, the four of us sat down to a scrumptious meal of calzone, steamed broccoli, and tossed mixed greens, cherry tomatoes, goat cheese, with a sprinkle of olive oil & raspberry balsamic vinegar. 

We all complimented David on how delicious the calzone tasted. (Except for Jennifer- she had braces put on that afternoon and was feeling too much pain to bite into food).  When I asked David how it was making calzone all by himself, he confidently responded with a proud smile, "It was a piece of cake!".  He was especially happy that he didn't have to do his dinner clean-up chore that night.  That was my suggestion - that whoever cooks on Monday Cook Night is relieved from doing their nightly chore.  Now that's a win-win!

[Special thanks to Dad for cleaning up the kitchen!]

David's version:

I got a steal on doing my chore- I didn't have to do my chore. ha ha.  Making calzones wasn't that bad because it's not actually that hard.  It was easier than I thought it would be. 

Here's how I did it.  First you take the Italian sausage, put it in the pan, and cook it.  Then you take the pepper, dried basil, and salt and mix it into the meat.  You take a rolling pin and roll out the dough.  When the meat is done, you lay it in a line on the dough, and put the cheese on the meat.  To fold it up you take the short ends and fold those in. Then take the long ends, fold them over and pinch it together. Then really fast you pick it up and put it on the pan.  You bake it in the oven for 30 minutes, look to see if it's done, yep it's done.  You slice it up and eat it.

It tasted great. It was easy, and yummy. I felt happy that I didn't have to do my chore.  I would do it again if I had nothing going on, and I didn't have to do my chore.

 

Cook Night

In our home, 99.9% of our dinners are cooked by me.  At first glance this may feel like a noble service.  But when I reflect on author Michael Pollan's words of wisdom (that the most important thing you can do if you're concerned about your kids' health is teach them how to cook),I realize it may in fact be a disservice.

 

I know that others in the family can cook because they manage dinners on their own when I am occasionally out of town.  I use the term "cook" loosely, since it's mostly pre-made items that merely require heating up according to the directions on the package.

Cooking means different things to different people.  Michael Pollan refers to eating these packaged foods as "secondary eating".  He believes that this industrial "food processing" has taken a substantial toll on our health and well-being since they tend to use much more sugar, fat and salt than do people cooking for people. "Primary eating" involves cooking a meal from scratch. 

Facing the facts about the nutritional benefits of home cooking helps me place a higher value on "primary cooking".   I can bring myself to a point where intellectually, I get it.  It's way better for us to home cook our meals from scratch more often than consume packaged food prepared by corporations.  But does my attitude and my shopping/cooking behavior reflect the high value I place on cooking?

Attitude check -  do I view cooking dinner as drudgery or as an opportunity?  I can't deny that there are times when it feels like drudgery.  My heart's desire is to approach cooking with a spirit of adventure, with mindfulness, with fascination with the cooking process, and with enjoyment of the experience of cooking and eating.

I ran across a superb article, "Find Your Young Lady".  Referring to the famliar "Old Woman/Young Lady" illusion (see picture), the author uses the phrase "find your young lady" to teach athletes how to reframe their thoughts to improve their running experiences.  The principles can be readily applied to any behavior, including cooking. The power to embrace cooking as a joy and opportunity comes in changing our thoughts from self-defeating to self-empowering.

Although my having the "right mindset" is necessary for me to inspire others to cook, it is not sufficient.  Nor will aiming to simply capitalize on the teachable moments.  Instead, I need a concrete plan.  If we leave it to chance, it may not happen. 

Drum roll......"Cook Night"

My experience tells me there are two core factors that internally motivate kids to cook:
1. their stomach (sheer desire to eat something yummy)
2. fun, especially with friend

I started by asking the kids who still live at home, "Name your 3 favorite home-cooked meals."   David chose:  Sesame Grilled Chicken with Ramen Salad,  Flat Iron Steaks with mushrooms and green beans, and Calzones.  Jennifer picked:  BBQ ribs, Hamburgers, and Tacos.

Next I told them, "You get to learn how to make these favorite meals of yours this summer on Cook Night!"

"You may invite a friend to help cook if you wish."

We chose Monday for Cook Night since at present there are no extracurricular activities disrupting our dinner hour on Mondays. Here is our actionable plan to begin teaching our children the life-long skill of cooking:

Goal:  Throughout the 10 weeks of summer vacation, the kids get to learn how to cook their three favorite meals.

"SMART" plan (specific, measurable, actionable, realistic, time-based): Each Monday beginning June 24 through August 26, Jennifer (age 10) and David (age 13) will alternate being chef on Cook Night.  Each will have an opportunity to learn how to make their three favorite meals with my assistance.  Since the Cook Night plan will use up only 6 of the 10 summer Mondays, we have wiggle room built into the plan.

 

Perhaps in August we will celebrate with a fun, culminating "graduation" home-cooked dinner.

 

The above plan is tailored to our family.  It's important to become the expert of your own self and family.  Think about your attitude/knowledge/skills/behavior with cooking.  Where are the gaps?  This process of exploring will help gain insight to establish a realistic plan to put into action.  My hope is for all of us to discover and pass on the joy of cooking, comfort and fun in the kitchen, and good health for a lifetime!

 

 

Who's Cooking Dinner?

I'm reading Michael Pollan's latest book, Cooked.  It is lighting a fire within me for this month's topic, "Who's Cooking Dinner?"

In his book, Pollen sets out to learn how to cook.  He becomes the student as experts show him the finer points of mastering some timeless culinary skills.  He makes several discoveries, including just how pleasurable it can be to cook.  Reflecting on the 8,000+ dinners I have cooked over the years, I can relate to his description of himself,

"I have always cooked, but I've always approached it with a great deal of impatience, and always kind of fought against it."

 

However, now he approaches cooking with a very different spirit.  He slows down, enjoys it more, and squeezes more out of the experience.

Cooked is an argument for making the choice to cook (versus relying on the food industry to do the cooking for us.).  The argument for cooking can be made on many levels.  On one level are health reasons.

"There is something inherent in the process of cooking that will drive you toward using better ingredients -  not using too much salt, fat and sugar."

"I'm convinced that the most important thing you can do if you're concerned about your kids' health is teach them how to cook.  It's a life-long skill that will do more to assure their long-term health and happiness than just about anything else you can give them."

Best of all, Pollan offers hope in reclaiming cooking as a pleasure, rather than a common perception that cooking is drudgery, and perhaps even daunting.

To be honest, on some days as dinner time approaches, I simply do not want to stop what I'm doing to make dinner.  After a day of work, I might rather be reading, playing a game of croquet or badminton with the kids in the backyard, catching up with family or friends, gardening, or writing.  These activities feel good and replenish my sense of well-being.  Forcing myself to switch gears to the kitchen and enter dinner preparation mode brings to mind the familiar bumper sticker, "I'd rather be....[fill in the blank with anything but cooking]."

How would life be different if I, too (like Michael Pollan), discovered that cooking is one of the most worthwhile and interesting ways to spend my time?

I wonder... exactly what is needed to reclaim cooking as a pleasure, and to teach our children the life-long skill of cooking?

 

I believe it begins with me, in my own "backyard", so to speak.  Things like challenging myself to venture outside of my comfort zone to learn and practice new cooking skills.  Things like practicing mindfulness skills (being more in the present moment as I cook).  Maybe even a little attitude adjustment.  Throw in some fun!  With these fix-ups, I am likely to be a more effective teacher for my children.  After all, more is caught than taught, especially when it comes to the joy of cooking.  Can I rise to the challenge?

 

Can the children rise to the challenge?

 "...if I treat you as though you are what you are capable of becoming, I help you become that." (Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe).  I believe the answer is "yes".

I have people in my life who inspire me (merely through their living example) to approach cooking with confidence and a spirit of adventure.  As Pollan learned, cooking is not that hard.  Maybe cooking has more to do with one's mindset.

Maybe it really boils down to -  how much do I value cooking?  Now there's something worth chewing on.

In the mean time, summer is around the corner.  What better time is there than now, to engage the family in cooking dinner?  I will put on my thinking cap to devise a plan for my approach to reclaim cooking as pleasure, and to teach my children the life-long skill of cooking.  Stay tuned for an actionable plan.